The incident that stands out most distinctly in my life is not a pleasant one, but the saddest in my life. The incident has made such an impression on my life that I can remember the vivid details whenever I recall what happened. The incident which haunt me till now is the passing of my beloved grandfather.

He was my father's father and had gone through hard times all his life; made harder when his wife passed away 40 years ago. He was stern and disciplinarian according to my father but he completely spoiled us - his grandchildren.

He had been terminally ill for about a year and knew all about his illness. He used to talk about death and tell his childhood stories. Even though it is hard for me to understand his language because he is a javanese, my dad would always translate it and all those experience made me realised how fortunate I am right now. He neither feared it nor welcomed it but he was always ready for the death.

He refused to stay in the hospital even though his children had persuaded him several times. In fact, I remember that during the year of his illness, our entire lives revolved around him. He would still smile in front of us even though i knew that he was feeling the pain.

A Sunday, he called his eldest son, my eldest uncle, and told him that he was expecting to die that day. My uncle told him to cool down and prayed to god while he recite the holy quran to him. Calmly, he lie there and told him to informed his children to be independant and also stay together as a family. After the midnight had strucked passed, our family was told that he had left us. Everyone could feel the pain and even the young ones. Then I went out to the hall to console myself about my great loss. Till now, after seven years i still couldn't forget it. No matter what religious leaders and philosophers say, you just don't reconcile yourself to the death of someone you love so much. You just can't.