Indeed it is an unhappy state to be in to be attracted to a girl so much and yet not have the guts to walk up and talk to her. I am in such an unhappy state. She is a year older than me and is a student in the girls' school next to mine. We meet everyday at the bus stop and sometimes takes the same bus to school. She alights one bus stop after me and I have no idea where she lives.

How does she look like? She is tall and slim and has a very fair complexion, even for a typical

malay girl. She has a long flowing hair which she tied up neatly. She is a simple person and obviously a studios type. She wears white rimmed spectacle and always has a book with her, which she reads even on bus. She has dimples on both her cheeks and has a friendly disposition. When she walks, she look straight ahead. So far, I have not even been able to meet her eyes. Therefore, I am not sure whether she knows I am on this planet.

At first, I could not make any inquiries about her because to do so would mean that I have to talk to one of her friends, and I do not know any of them. Then one day, Danesha got down at the same bus stop as she did. Danesha is a boy in the same class as me and I am acquainted with him. I casually asked him about her. " Hey, you interested in her or what?" he blurted out cheekily in front of a few of my friends. Now that embarassed me and I wanted to strangle Danesha. Anyway, he told me all that he knew. Her parens were strict and disapproved of any friendship with boys. Danesha hinted that the only way I could get to her was to go for sex change operation first- the parents were that strict. I swallowed as the situation looks helpless.

I asked Danesha about her movements and all he could tell was that she goes to school and comes back by herself. Everywhere else she goes with her mother. The only chance I get to talk to her was when she goes to school or goes back home. This i dare not to do because of the hundreds over schoolmates of her and ine who always seem to be around. Things do look impossible. In fact the only way I could solve this whole situation is to forget about it and look elsewhere. Well, I am not about to. All the girls beside her look so insignificant and I cannot stop admiring her. Perhaps, I hope that one day I will fin dthe courage to walk up to her and say: "Hello Nana, I am Iezran. I want to be your friend." Until then I can hope and dream, can't I?